True Crime has many subgenres. The main element is driving, and the physics are realistic enough, even if slightly simplistic. Whilst driving, one can also fire a handgun in a 240 degree rotation – however, this is where the game falls down initially – this kicks in about ten seconds of pure, unadulterated bullet time, which makes squeezing a few rounds off and handling the car at the same time easier, but – well, it just lasts that few seconds too long. It’s easy to shoot a car enough times to cause it to blow up, but the satisfaction of doing so isn’t really felt when suddenly the game speeds up halfway through a car turning 360 degrees in a direction a car just isn’t designed to turn. And then, when walking, one can pull out dual pistols and have a similar effect – with weapons equipped, triangle can be tapped whilst running to cause a forward dive which slows down time – perfect for squeezing off eight or nine shots. The problem with this is that crime-and-car games rely on this shooting and driving as their biggest selling point. And it just gets more disappointing hereon.

The beat ‘em up mode – let's not even go into how this fits into the gameplay (‘barely’ should suffice) – is lacklustre, suffers from appallingly difficult controls, is unresponsive and dull. Players are often better off button bashing than even attempting a strategic attack - despite your own character’s tortoise-like movements, enemies can attack with comparative ease.

To summarise, gameplay is at best mediocre, with some slight physics issues and an interesting twist to driving and shooting. However, at worst it can be considered as a shambles, a waste of £40. So with such a piss-poor effort here, maybe the storyline is the saving grace of the game?

Story

Uh, not at all really. Our main protagonist is one Nick Kang, an infuriating mixture of Chris Rock and Jeremy Clarkson, supposedly LAPD’s ‘loose cannon,’ a gun-toting, cliché-spouting tosspot who somehow made the shortlist for the new organisation ‘EOD’ (Elite Operations Division), set up to combat all sorts of Chinese-related crimes. Sound a little, uh, naff? Bingo. And that’s not the worst of it – for some reason, halfway through the game, Chinatown gives way to the Demon Spirits, and taking a leaf from Devil May Cry, Nick Kang has to take on… the underworld? What? Did someone turn over two pages at once in the script? Unfortunately not – the storyline really is this jumbled. First it’s the Chinese, then the Russian, then Nick Kang’s own brother (who is inexplicably Chinese himself, despite Kang been whiter than an Essex-based vampire), then Hades. With such a confusing, daft plot, any sane reviewer must ask - who put marijuana in the Activision storyline team’s coffee? Bollocks.

Summary

So, there you have it. Activision left Tony Hawk alone for a while only to produce this, a blatantly lifted game idea in a worn-out, tired part of the videogames market – let's hope that a sequel isn’t on the cards. JC